The Lost Soul
Mood: Vexed, confused, contraditing, disappointment, depressed, hopeless
My life has been pretty bad? sucky to be exact. I never felt my life so jerky and junky. Yes, I studied like what other kids did. Enrolled into the secondary school, eventually headed to poly.
As usual, that’s the worst decision I ever made. A decision that invite nothing but more troubles and disappointment. I had never felt a single time where my effort to study was negligible.
So I work hard like everyone did, work as crazy as every poly kids did. Brought my team to IT Project Show, work together as a team, enjoyed ourselves too. This journey was an enjoyment yet a futile trip too.
Enjoyment, yes of course, everyone gets together, work hard play hard. You aren’t alone. You lead a troop to fight a “war”. Sleep isn’t mandatory when comes to assignment due too.
Then comes the good news, announced, your team got shortlisted. So What’s that big deal now? It is a good news to our supervisor but a bad news to us. The lie is, yr work is good, potential for future development. The reality is being recognised for a work that is way too lower than given standard. To be exact, it is a piece of work showcased for the sake of it.
So how do you feel if that is you? A team lead who fails in bringing yr people to survive in a war. Or a failed leader who cannot answer your men for the results? Being cheated for being a fool.
Yes, I retaliated, confronted my course manager, asked for the reason for these close marks. Obviously something is wrong if 3 students all score so low yet telling them is good. What horrible project can it be?
Course manager gives you a bullshit answer, I guess that’s what they are made to be there. She said, your effort is your statisfaction but not your results. So doesn’t mean you workhard, work smart u get it. Got it?
How do you feel if that’s you.
Thereafter, comes that university reject you which simply shows your effort worth nothing. C’mon wake up pls, what’s the point of studying, paying so much money and get a duck egg home? Get a life man! Everybody studied, all went uni except u, still kena say your project kanasai, who likes it?
Nobody even bother to give you a chance, what’s the point?
As usual, my traditional parents objected my proposal to study in Australia. Going Monash, Melbourne or Sydney is my only chance to fulfil my dreams. I’m sure enough that finance and IT are both not my cup of tea. I’m going back to science. I prefer chemistry, researching and understanding how it works. I get to go diving too.
SO i really don’t know where i’m heading too. Everyday, mum’s complaining about her work and the people. While me, wasting my time at work, wasting my life away.